Food Network

I don't claim to be a great or inventive cook, but I enjoy cruising the Food Network shows, usually on weekend mornings while I am still in my jammies. However, some of the hosts BUG!

• Rachael Ray never puts a "g" on the end of any word--it's cookin', makin', shoppin', goin'. Also, she seems unable to chop--she "runs her knife through" things. And can't food just cook? Does it have to "hang out in the pan"? Finally, I hate both "Yumm-o" and "Spoonula". Gah!
• Giada deLaurentis says "perfect" about 20 times per meal she cooks. Also she appears a bit too rapturous over some of the simple dishes she makes, closing her eyes and sighing. Finally, she's stingy with portions. It must be because she is a miniature person (check out the short length of her upper arms). My husband would never be filled up on one of her meals!
• Sandra Lee of Semi-Homemade makes me dizzy with the number of times she spins to her sink to put dirty dishes there. Also, she has a habit of overemphasizing the word "INto" and uses that word a lot. Finally, her food only takes "just a second" to cook.
• Paula Deen cracks me up with the way she talks and how she quivers with excitement over taking a bite of a dish. However, I am appalled at the calorie count of some of the meals she makes and worry about her cholesterol! Also, she changes pronouns about 5 times during a dish and her food changes sex; i.e., "I am going to add some _____ to our dish. Now I'm going to put him in the oven." Then when she takes the pan out, "Ooh, isn't she pretty?"
• Emeril has no neck. 'Nuff said.

Okay, rant is over! :)